Aug

Note to self

Got this from Baby Center which serve as a good reminder for myself, I call it the “note to self”.

Am not sure where to begin, coz I’ve been facing this and that, here and there concerning my boys. There are times that I got so frustrated with them, so unreasonable, so hard to understand, and some times run
out of idea in handling them, I withdrawn from them. I just keep myself unresponsive, which probably intimidate them.

See if you can get what I mean for the comments that I have on what has been suggested by Baby Center.

Things mentioned:

R-e-s-p-e-c-t :Err.. I think I do respect them provided they listen to me and do what as I’ve told them to do in just one call instead of several times, else I would go “Hey! Didn’t u hear what I said!? Now! Faster!”
Read together: Oh.. this one I definitely do with them every night and they always request me to read more than one story. I would love them to read by themselves now but they are not patient enough and wanted to know the whole story properly read to them.
Don’t do their homework for them! : Definitely!
Turn off the tube: Oh.. this one.. we have gone through it everyday. “If you don’t do your home work, no TV!” But then the TV is still on somehow when I left them.
Recognize talent: Hmm… let me see.. their talent is to get on each others’ nerve, playing rough like Ultraman, or Spiderman.. oh.. and scribble here and there, some times even using water color which left me a smeared floor to mop. Ya, pretty talented.
Give them time : For what? So they will go to bed at 11pm!? or woke up just to be late to school?
Talk to your child: Ya.. I do.. everyday, blah blah blah and I’m not sure if they totally understand me.
Allow failure: Yupe, sure! But not till they fail in school and had to resit their exam, I hope this would never come.

Oh and about Defiance which I think this is straight forward and I really need to put some effort in doing so:

“Defiance: Why it happens and what to do about it”
Though you may be sorely tempted to give your 5-year-old a verbal lashing when she defies you, hold your tongue. “When a child behaves badly, she already feels terrible,” says Jane Nelsen, author of the Positive Discipline series of books. “Where did we ever get the idea that in order to make children do better, we first have to make them feel worse?” In fact, doing so may only produce more negative behavior.

Punishment might get her to behave, but only because she’s afraid not to. It’s best for your 5-year-old to do the right thing because she wants to — because it makes the day more fun for her or makes her feel good.

GOOD LUCK to me!