Last night after I left the boys in the room while I prepare their milk, they got into a fight which I heard Mervin calling for me, after I’ve questioned who started it off…
Mervin: Mommy, Ko-Ko (big brother) hit me just now, can I use your spank to spank him?
Me: No, you can’t!
Mervin: Why not? I want to use your spank.
Me: No, the spank is not for you to use.
Mervin: Why not? He hit me just now.
Me: No!
After that I have to explain to him that spanking is a punishment that I use on disciplining them. It is not to use to simply hit anyone.
I keep on getting his assurance that on whether he likes it if someone hit him. I have to explain the difference between me using the spank and someone hitting them.
Along the way, I was wondering if using spank is the right way in disciplining them.
When I asked who started off the fight. It was Mervin who showed his dislike upon his big brother – Calvin. Calvin’s natural reaction was to fight back with words (at first), but that even trigger Mervin more. After that I think everyone can guess what happened.
The thing is even after I told Calvin to stop, he didn’t respond to what I said, later he said he didn’t hear me. What a disappointment from me to learn that my elder boy can’t hear what I said, especially on what I’ve instructed him to do.
The truth is, he seldom hears me especially if I’ve instructed him to do certain things, or I wanted him to follow certain orders of mine. A few that I can think of now is getting dress, stop running, stop hitting the little brother, finish his food and keeping his toys away.
When friends asked how my boys are doing, my first reaction is”they always fight”. Probably my mind is set on remembering the bad that they did rather than the good that they did. What good have they done? Well, to think of a few:
1.Calvin teaches the little brother in playing certain toys, but that annoyed Mervin ‘cos he wanted to do it his way, neetie-gritty things down on how to stick the stickers!
2.They ride their bikes together which normally seems fine until one of them wanted the other to follow whatever they want.
3.They share the same love of TV program – Ultramantiga, till they started to share with me what they have seen at the same time.
Basically my days are filled with time consumed by them in making sure they don’t fight. Making sure their requests are being met. Making sure they have proper meal on time which is way so hard with Calvin, he prefers to have it on his time and what he wants to eat. If he refuses whatever that was on the table or his plate, he’ll insist till the end, or till I gave up and spoon feed him Only to certain amount and he’ll surely said he can’t swallow anymore. The same food if given to Mervin, he’ll finished it a no time. I don’t even need to spoon feed Mervin.
I just wonder when will Calvin start loving his food, when will they stop fighting. When?
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hahaha! cute! “Can I use the spank to spank koko?” Reminded me of my boys too.
We opt out the spanking, because we realised that it does more harm than good. The boys imitated our reaction too (hit his younger bro when didi did something wrong or vice versa). Seriously, a 14mo boy hit his koko because koko hit him sometimes : because mummy used to hit koko last time… hahahah! Its chain reaction. So, we stopped.. but the boys havent stop hitting each other completely. It’s dying out tho, the spanking business.
We are mentally challenged by the boys discipline too. At the moment, we use a lot of distractions instead of screaming at them. Like when koko make didi cry, I would tell koko that didi feels sad and that koko would try to make him happy.. and koko just did that! Funny mind they have. Lil kids dont have revenge/grunge in them.. its always the adults think so. After few minutes, they forget what they fought about.
Sigh, none the less, very tiring huh? esp with two energetic boys.. Love reading your post, but always a silent reader. Keep it up!
Yes, I did the same and am trying really hard to stop using the spank. Terrible me. Sometimes just too tired but I’ve to keep on reminding myself that it could be worse if I stop trying.
Thanks Celine, for the encouragement and for sharing.